I gained some weight during the pandemic. Maybe you did, too. And as the end of life as we’ve known it for the last year and a half draws nearer, I should be getting excited about going out, dressing up and seeing friends. Instead, I’m stressing about my pandemic weight gain and what people might say when they see me. And honestly, that’s messed up.

Usually, I’m out and about in New York City on the daily, so I never have to worry about people seeing me for the first time in a long time. There’s a specific pressure tied to that kind of debut! And while I’ve learned to love what I’m calling my “corona curves,” I admit that there are still outfits and settings that leave me insecure.

I quickly realized that keeping these feelings to myself would only allow them to fester—I needed to talk to other women. And once I started, I couldn’t stop. Virtually all of my friends (My beautiful, amazing friends!) were feeling the same way. I was in total shock.

That’s why I was so thrilled to hear of The Bodcon‘s upcoming event, The BodCon TALKS: Beach Bodies – A Virtual Pool Party. The event will tackle topics like summer body anxiety and pandemic weight gain and features incredible, real women who tell it like it is. If you’re interested in snagging a ticket for yourself, you can grab one here for the event on June 27 at 2:00p.m. ET.

Below, I chatted with three of the incredible women you’ll hear from at the event: TikTok’s Alicia McCarvell, curve model Ella Halikas and fashion blogger Lisa Schoenberger, all of whom were willing to get real about changing bikini body rhetoric and loving the skin they’re in.

Alicia McCarvell

Courtesy of Sharlie Faye.

STYLECASTER: There’s been a lot of talk on the Internet lately about loving/hating our “corona curves,” aka weight gain brought on by/during the pandemic. How did your body and your relationship to it change during lockdown, if at all?

ALICIA McCARVELL: My relationship with my body through lockdown has strengthened—however, I have a history of body changes and this is nothing new to me. When I lost my job, my body showed up everyday. When I was at my lowest mentally, my body carried me. When the lockdown happened and I felt isolated, my body was my friend. Every time I have experienced anything tough in my life, my body has been there to support me—the least I can do is show it the respect and love it shows me unconditionally.

SC: What is your advice to anyone who might be feeling insecure about weight gain right now?

AM: My biggest piece of advice is to learn how to separate your body from what makes you, you. I spent almost a year writing down things I loved about myself that had nothing to do with my shape or size. It was hard, but it was the most rewarding thing I have ever done for myself.

When I was done, I was left with a little book about who I was, and what value I added to the world and the best part is, it didn’t matter if I was thin, or plus size—the best parts about me had absolutely nothing to do with my body, or any changes that might come.

Every time I have experienced anything tough in my life, my body has been there to support me.

SC: What are some things you do to help yourself embrace body positivity or neutrality and love the skin you’re in?

AM: Move: Take time to move your body in ways that bring you joy. For me that’s powerlifting, walks, skipping, shooting hoops – or newly added roller skating. When I move my body in ways that bring me joy, it reminds me how incredible my body truly is.

Detox Your Social Media: Take an hour and go through the accounts you follow, if any of them make you feel inadequate, get rid of them. Your social media should be a place of leisure, fun and empowerment. You have full control over that.

Dress In Ways That Make Your Heart Happy: I spent so much time hiding under baggy clothes, because I truly believed it hid the fact that I was fat. It didn’t hide anything, and all that time hiding did was create more shame around my body. When I started wearing things that made me happy I started to like parts of my body I had hidden for so long, and realized my body is NOTHING to be ashamed of.

SC: Any other thoughts on leaning into hot girl summer?

AM: WEAR THE BATHING SUIT! I missed out on 12 years of going to the beach because I allowed what I thought and what others might think hold me back. No one cares as much as you, stop holding yourself back from enjoying your life, and your body.

Ella Halikas

Courtesy of Roalyver Lopez.

SC: How did your body and your relationship to it change during lockdown, if at all?

ELLA HALIKAS: I definitely gained some quarantine weight, but I’m okay with it! I don’t weigh myself anymore either so I’m not sure how much I’ve gained, but I definitely got those “corona curves” going on, lol! I’m not going to let myself feel bad about that though because we all endured a very stressful year.

This past year was so unpredictable and heightened a lot of our anxieties, so I’m gonna give myself some grace for gaining some weight during the process. I still remained active and would go out for walks and runs, but people find comfort in food—and I think we all seeked out more comfort during this pandemic.

SC: What is your advice to anyone who might be feeling insecure about weight gain right now?

EH: If you’re feeling insecure about weight gain, just know you aren’t alone. So many people go through these insecurities, especially right now with more people experiencing weight gain during the pandemic. But don’t be too hard on yourself—our bodies are always changing. We all are going through things in our lives that can contribute to stress, anxiety, weight-gain and so forth. We need to realize that how we look and how much we weigh shouldn’t be our main focus of concern. We should shift our focus from weight gain to gratitude towards our bodies. Being thankful that our bodies got us through a pandemic, and that our bodies allow us to do so many amazing things! It’s all a shift in mindset—you got this!

We should shift our focus from weight gain to gratitude towards our bodies.

SC: What are some things you do to help yourself embrace body positivity or neutrality and love the skin you’re in?

EH: Some things I do to help myself embrace body positivity and neutrality is surrounding myself with other confident, like-minded people. I like to surround myself with others who love the skin they’re in and who never talk badly about other people’s bodies and insecurities. Also, I love to follow body positive/neutral creators online who show that they can feel beautiful and confident regardless of their size.

Another thing that helps me is hyping myself up every day in the mirror before I leave the house. Some days are harder than others, but I always try to be my biggest hype woman; this helps with my confidence a ton!

SC: Any other thoughts on leaning into hot girl summer?

EH: I want you to know just how beautiful and worthy you all are!! Regardless of your shape and size, there’s so much more to you than the number you weigh on a scale. We are all worth so much more than our weight, and we need to start embracing our curves! I always say…there’s only ONE you in this world and that is your power!

Lisa Schoenberger

Courtesy of Rebecca Northcott Photography.

SC: How did your body and your relationship to it change during lockdown, if at all?

LISA SCHOENBERGER: I haven’t weighed myself since I started my self love journey six years ago because I spent 40 years being obsessed with the scale. Of course I have noticed that I have gained some weight since the pandemic started but I didn’t let myself go back to my negative self thoughts and reminded myself that it’s OK, I have been dealing with a lot and hell I survived a pandemic! You can always make small changes moving forward (and that doesn’t mean weight loss) that will help you feel better inside and out.

SC: What is your advice to anyone who might be feeling insecure about weight gain right now?

LS: I always say, love yourself at ANY size because you deserve it. Your weight does not define your worth and beating yourself up because you gained weight isn’t going to help. I spent my entire life thinking being thin was the answer to everything and I would magically be happy, but it honestly couldn’t be farther from the truth. We are our own worst critics so be kind to yourself.

We are taught to focus on the negative so we have to reframe our way of thinking.

SC: What are some things you do to help yourself embrace body positivity or neutrality and love the skin you’re in?

LS: Confidence is a journey, you will have good days and bad days, we all do. But the journey starts with a single step. I tell anyone who reaches out to me to start off by standing in front of a mirror and find two to three things they like about themselves and focus on those. Reaffirm these daily and add some new ones along the way. We are taught to focus on the negative so we have to reframe our way of thinking.

SC: Any other thoughts on leaning into hot girl summer?

LS: One thing I have learned is life is too short so we need to live it. Ignore the size on the tag or the number on the scale and get out and live your best life. Wear the dresses, the shorts, the swimsuits and lose the sleeves. Trust me, no one will care. Make those memories with family and friends, take photos and most of all rock those curves and have fun!! After everything we have been through the past 15 months, that is going to be the best form of self care. I will gladly be your hype girl!