Let’s be real: we all have something “quirky” that gets us going sexually. For some of us, it could be sub-dom play or bringing sex toys into the mix, but for others—many others—it’s all about feet. Before you start wagging your finger in defiance, you should know that the niche sexual desire that is a foot fetish actually isn’t uncommon.
In fact, Psychology Today reported approximately 44,722 people preferring foot worship and/or foot play on online fetish forums across the world wide web, making it one of the most prevalent fetishes in the world.
Chances are, you’ve probably heard of foot play, or even tried it yourself once. And while there’s inarguably a stigma surrounding the fetish, it may be high time to leave those negative connotations behind and be open to the idea—I mean, have you ever had your toes sucked during sex? Because, speaking from first-hand experience, it’s pretty freaking fun.
That said, this also doesn’t mean that you can go guns blazing at your first swing. Like all fetishes, approaching your partner about what you’d like to explore in bed is key for everyone to have a good time.
“If you are broaching this [foot play], or honestly any sort of kink-related topic, you’re revealing an interest to your partner and you want to see if you can explore that with them. Depending on the fetish, it can be really hard,” says Mistress Vala Syn, Professional Dominatrix & BDSM and Kink Educator. “Everyone’s a little bit different, but even for foot fetishists there could be a lot of shame associated with it. They may have had bad experiences in the past. They may have been with partners that weren’t as accepting, so it could be a very sensitive and kind of big step for them to come forward with that.”
Yes, talking about a fetish is extremely scary, but with the right education behind the subject, it can be done in a seamless, consensual way, so that both (or all, if there’s more than two people) parties can not only accept but embrace these so-called taboo kinks.
With that, we’ve tapped four kink and BDSM professionals to dish out everything there is to know about foot play, plus how to approach the topic yourself if you’re looking to play up your foot fetish in the bedroom. Read on for their insights.
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Mistress Elvira Jones
STYLECASTER: Why have you decided to incorporate foot play within your BDSM career?
MISTRESS ELVIRA JONES: Because this is not ordinary play, it has deeper meaning than everyday sensuality; it does not deal only with the body, but this dominance grabs the mind—making the body responding weak and submitting to the intensity of the play (everyone has their limits, and it’s talked about before sessions).
SC: What are some misconceptions about foot play that you’d like to address?
MEJ: A natural misconception is to think that this kind of playing is degrading. And it is, but is that all bad? It’s all about balancing energy—Yin and Yang. If the individual (man or woman) is powerful in real life and has a place of dominance in society, they will crave for submission to a stronger tempered person; that (in their head) is more powerful than them.
It has to do with the feeling of ‘wanting to find oneself.’ We use other people to reflect what we feel, and in this kind of place, when the client is naked and powerless, the only choice is to surrender and ‘die’ to itself, just to be born again stronger, by being open to its desires. Because it’s a safe space, and the act has a non-scripted falling of events, everything can happen-in the scope of what is talked about before the session.
SC: What do you notice your clients appeal to the most from foot play?
MEJ: Foot play is about applying submission with a bit of love. People that are into this fetish are, normally, powerful people that need to feel controlled to feel safe. It’s the chemistry of the body, like a survival tool for when they are under pressure at work, for example. They seem to crave that pump of adrenaline given by having their head (one or the other) held down by a beautiful woman’s foot, while she spits humiliating comments about their lowest point. Foot worshiping practices can help achieve balance in many areas of their lives, if practiced in the right way.
I notice their faces are down when they come into my dungeon, and it’s not always for respect. Many times they are troubled and for whatever reason, after the session, even though they feel tired after a 60 minutes session, they still have a different face: They look satisfied! They feel energized, the orgasm they had was not an ordinary one.
This type of orgasm is held under consciousness, to be released at the right time, that is at the end of the session. It’s ordered that the client hold their climax ‘in heaven’ for as long as possible, I help my submissive (sub) by diminishing (or intensifying) the playing. An example for holding the climax is to hold the client down with your foot in their mouth while they suck your toes, if I permit them to do so. Subs are taught not to take anything for granted in life and sucking my toes is a privilege.
Foot fetish sessions drain the client’s energy to zero, so it replenishes to a total new frequency. For instance, by telling them not to touch themselves to the point of climax the whole sessions, an Order of your ‘Mistress’ while they drool on Mistress’s feet—the torture is real. This is an exploration not only of the body but also the mind because of the constant verbal communication during the session.
Finally, the time to experience that explosion comes, looking inside Mistress eyes without being afraid; I tell them they can climax by releasing their energy in the form of an orgasm, just when I tell them so. This is the ultimate form of dominance powered with love.
Mistress Stella
STYLECASTER: What does foot play actually entail?
MISTRESS STELLA: Feet. Feet are the feet of the body. Nobody thinks of them, so you think, until you realize there are a gajillion foot perverts out there! And they run the gamut from just wanting to surreptitiously look at strangers’ feet on the subway and on hot summer streets, to lovers who want to suck on your toes during foreplay, to dudes who will pay hundreds and hundreds of dollars to get stepped on and maybe get the chance to sniff the dirtiest, stinkiest feet one could get in a few days.
SC: What are some misconceptions about foot play that you’d like to address?
MS: I would say, for women, that there is a ‘perfect foot’ that guys want when it comes to worshipping them. It’s so individual as is every sexual proclivity—and for real, can you imagine having to worry about what your feet look like to please someone?
SC: What do you notice your clients appeal to the most from foot play?
MS: I’m not a fan of feet, and I think therein lies the appeal. It’s “dirty” it’s “creepy” and it makes one feel like a pervert. There’s also a whole online community now so it doesn’t seem as taboo. More like a thing that, “Hey, everyone is into now.”
The point is, a foot is viewed as a sexual organ. And that makes sense. It’s long, it’s throbby, it’s veiny and it’s responsive—How many of us have not giggled while getting a pedicure?
SC: Any tips for people who’d like to explore foot play themselves?
MS: Foot play should be just that: play. Whatever you’re comfortable with. I personally love to get my toes sucked and the part in between each one licked. And who honestly doesn’t love a foot massage? As long as someone knows how to do them! Trampling someone with bare feet, sploshing and making someone lick the food off your feet, making someone gag by sticking your whole foot in their mouth.
I’ve even seen foot fucking, where a chick will put her foot inside a magnum condom, lube that up, and stick that into someone’s butt. The point as always is that it’s all about what you and your partner want and are both comfortable with.
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Mistress Nova
STYLECASTER: Why have you decided to incorporate foot play within your BDSM career?
MISTRESS NOVA: I love foot fetishists because I actually really enjoy the sensation of having my feet touched. Both me and my client walk away from the session with our needs fulfilled!
SC: What are some misconceptions about foot play that you’d like to address?
MN: People generally think that others who have a foot fetish are weird or gross, which is a bit unfair. It’s outside the norm, yes, but foot fetishists can be really kind and awesome people.
SC: What do you notice your clients appeal to the most from foot play?
MN: Some of my clients are pretty specific about the scent aspect of foot play. I have one client who asks that I wear my combat boots around town all day so my feet get stinky and sweaty, for example.
SC: Any tips for people who’d like to explore foot play themselves?
MN: Be honest about your desire, and look to fulfill it in ultimate places. I’ve been approached in my personal life by people who claim they are talent seekers for shoe models, or something wild like that and ask for pictures because they’re trying to get a free glimpse at my feet. I laugh at the creativity but this dishonesty is a turn off. Seeing a professional is a great option to get your kicks, as well as getting involved with local kink spaces and FetLife.
Mistress Vala Syn
STYLECASTER: Why have you decided to incorporate foot play within your BDSM career?
MISTRESS VALA SYN: I guess it’s sort of twofold. For one thing, I love getting pedicures and having my feet look nice, but I wasn’t like, “Oh, I’m so proud of my feet,” so I didn’t feel like my feet were anything particularly special. But they did over time receive some attention. So eventually, I kind of realized, “Okay, maybe I have pretty nice feet.”
I also had experiences where, while I was certainly involved in kink for countless years but it was before I had become a full-time professional, I was in a hot tub with friends and all of a sudden there’s flirting and all of a sudden somebody’s massaging my feet out of the blue, like really massaging them and loving them. I remember somebody had asked and I said, “Sure, yeah, I like a foot massage, you can massage my feet,” and then I looked away for a moment and all of a sudden I felt my toes in the person’s mouth. I was like, “Oh, okay.”
So I think it’s something that is really, really common and I’m all for people having a safe space and being with a person that they feel safe and comfortable with and exploring those things, so that they don’t have to kind of do this secret hot tub dance and hope for the best with a stranger’s foot. I think it tends to be grouped into a more mainstream grouping of fetishes, because it’s generally fairly inoffensive. It doesn’t involve some of the more extreme things that are out there. It’s just it’s feet, everybody has them.
SC: What are some misconceptions about foot play that you’d like to address?
MVS: I would say first off, and this is broadly speaking here, it depends on who you ask. I think because it’s a fetish, which would automatically mean that it kind of falls outside of mainstream sexuality, that it’s rare or that it’s very taboo. Because it’s really not as rare as one would think, and it actually exists across a number of different cultures across the world. It may manifest a little bit differently, but it’s really very common. So I think that’s one misconception.
The other misconception, I would say, is that a lot of people assume that it’s only sort of male-to-female, that the fetish is only men fetishizing women’s feet. It’s actually very common within the gay community as well, and there’s the same amount of variety there as well, whether it’s kind of like a stinky “Fresh from the gym” kind of foot or something that’s a little more manicured and put-together. And then there’s variety within that as well, as far as the symbolic approach to it, whether it’s domination, humiliation, power play service, et cetera.
But also I think within that, people speak about [fetishes] as if somebody’s foot fetish defines the person, like they’re just a foot fetishist. In reality, foot play is incredibly common and can often just be one kink or one form of play that a person enjoys, and it may not necessarily be the defining characteristic of their sexuality or sort of the center of their sexuality.
SC: Any tips for people who’d like to explore foot play themselves?
MVS: If it’s between partners, I think that a lot of times the resistance, or maybe if there’s discomfort with the idea of foot play when people take that leap and come out to their partners, is that we associate feet with being dirty. We think of smelly feet or sweaty feet, so I think for some people the idea of their partner licking or sucking toes and then potentially kissing them could create a little bit of dissonance or a disconnect. I would say a good way to get around that would be to start, like I did I guess, in a hot tub or in a tub, or even in a situation where you can remove that idea that anything is unclean or fresh out of a shoe. That can help you explore these things and be a little more sensual about them.
Also, if you have a sort of fetish or want to explore [foot play], a really good way to broach that would be to bone up on your massage skills and give your partner a really nice foot massage. There are tons of nerve endings in the feet and it feels great and that physical contact can help bridge the gap and set the stage for talking about taking things a little further if you’re interested.
If it’s more of an aesthetic thing, if there are a few more layers to it, or if you enjoy sneaky and cheeky public play, then you can take your partner out shoe shopping and get involved that way and prepare and pamper their feet or try on shoes with them.
If you’re going to reach out to a professional to explore your own interests in foot fetishes or foot play, number one of course is to always be respectful of the provider and of their time, and of their own protocols and boundaries for booking. Don’t send them a barrage of requests for tons of specialty foot photos and just expect that they’re for free, or don’t expect that you’re entitled to that, necessarily. Unfortunately, that’s very common, but just treat them with respect for their time. Understand that there’s a lot of care that goes into maintaining your feet and having them look nice for clients. Not everybody is necessarily freshly pedicured at every moment of their lives all the time, so they might need a day or two to sort that out.
If you’re concerned about what compensation or what the tribute would be, you have to also factor in that this is somebody that’s going to have to go get their feet taken care of in whatever way for their clients, specifically you, and that also costs money. Also be sure to pick somebody that is sensitive to the fact that it might be a new experience for you and is open to going slowly and exploring. Someone who’s going to kind of treat that with a little bit of sensitivity is always a good thing.
If you’ve been approached by a partner about their personal fetish, the important thing is to listen, hear them out, and approach with sensitivity. If foot play is not something that you had considered or never was a particular interest of yours before that conversation, then my recommendation is to have your partner go ahead and share the nature of their interests, ask questions, ask about the different activities that they enjoy, what they like about it.
If they say, “I love massaging and kissing feet,” for example, and you enjoy getting pedicures and getting a foot massage, bring that up. Basically you create a sort of Venn diagram on where you overlap, that is the best place to start. Both parties may end up discovering new things about themselves. You don’t always necessarily know until you try. Communication is key.
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